RSS Feed Aw, Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re an old man now, and old people are useless.Homer

Moe Szyslak

Name: Moe Szyslak
Identity: The surly, two-faced owner of Moe's tavern.

Also known as: Uncle Moe, Mr. Moe, "Unkie Moe," the tough kid-"Smelly" (on "The Little Rascals"), Kid Gorgeous, Kid Presentable, Kid gruesome, and finally Kid Moe
Occupation: Owner of Moe's Tavern.
Regular customers: Homer, Barney, Larry, Sam, Lenny and Carl.
Catchphrase: Something along the lines of: "When I get a-hold of you..." when Bart does prank phone calls.

Friends: Homer, and all the other bar flies.
Enemies: The kid who keeps making prank phone calls to him (Bart Simpson).
Financial status: Debatable. Recently won $500,000 on "Me Wantee" [CABF10], however, owes plenty of money: he was '64 grand in the hole' in 2F05, and Barney had a beer tab of $14 billion  (Moe would have to have paid for these originally, so he is out of pocket) [3F18].

"I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that."

Previous jobs: Selling Flaming Moe's [8F08], teacher of 'Funk dancing for Self-defense' at the Adult Education Annex [1F20].

Appearances: Several episodes. Was a member of the bowling team 'The Pin Pals', once turned the bar into 'Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag', and has had plastic surgery on his face.