Principal Skinner

Name: Seymour Skinner
Previous name: Armin Tamzarian (although under the alias Skinner - see below)
Nickname: Spanky.

Related to: Agnes Skinner (mother), Edna Krebappel (girlfriend)
Occupation: Principal of Springfield Elementary School

Hobbies: Astronomy (gets up at 4.30 each morning to look for comets)
Member of: The Stonecutters, Radio Shack Battery Club
Friends: Groundskeeper Willie

Past loves: Patty Bouvier

Previous jobs: Member of B-sharps, army drill sergeant, novelist (when he wrote about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life using modern cloning techniques).

"Attention this is an emergency broadcast. All is well in the school."

Appearances: Most episodes. Has been fired, was caught in passionate embrace with Ms. Krebappel in the janitor's closet, starred in a Simpsons Spin-off as Chief Wiggum's assistant, and was accused of being an imposter (more on that below).

What's the deal with Armin Tamzarian?
In the episode "The Principal And The Pauper," Principal Skinner was accused of being an imposter by the real Seymour Skinner. It turned out that his real name was in fact Armin Tamzarian, and he had been pretending to be Seymour Skinner when he thought the real Skinner (a sergeant) was dead after the war.
However, when the real Skinner showed up, Tamzarian left town and became a rebel. Becoming tired of the new Principal Skinner, the townspeople ordered Skinner to come home. The real Skinner was sent away on a train, while Tamzarian changed his name to Seymour Skinner and his past, present and mother was conferred upon him. So he is, strictly speaking, the real Skinner.

Now let us never speak of it again.