Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart’s The Magic Flute. So, what’s the answer? Ban all music? In this reporters opinion, the answer, sadly, is ‘yes’.— Brockman
Jimbo: I heard that guy's ass has it's own congressman.
Salesman: Well, sir, many of our clients find pants confining. So we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman: ponchos, muu-muus, capes, jumpsuits, uni-sheets, muslin body rolls, academic and judicial robes.
Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muu-muu.
Bart: (as an old fat man) I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Homer: To start press any key. Well where's the "any" key? I see Esc, Catarl, and PigUp. There doesn't seem to be any any key! Phew. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab. (pushes Tab key) Oop! No time for that now, the computer's starting.
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey... did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?
Homer: I've gotta call the plant and warn them! (pushes buttons on phone)
Phone Announcer: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with the palm ... now.
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