I’ve learned my lesson: a mountain of sugar is too much for one man. It’s clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets, and why he lives of a plantation in Hawaii.— Homer
Krusty: How much do you love me?
Kids: With all of our hearts!
Krusty: What would you do if I went of the air?
Kids: We'd kill ourselves!
Homer: Mmm... chocolate. Ooh, double chocolate. Ooh, new flavor - triple chocolate!
Apu: What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
Homer: The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slide show starring my wife's sisters... or as I call them, "The Gruesome Twosome".
Krusty: Hand over all you money in a paper bag.
Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.
Chief Wiggum: Krusty the Clown, you are under arrest for armed robbery. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Patty: ...and this is all the mail that awaited us upon our return... and this is Selma dropping off our vacation film to be developed. Thus concludes our Mexican Odyssey.
Bart: I've based my whole life on Krusty's teachings.
Marge: Maybe it will turn out he was innocent all along.
Homer: Earth to Marge, Earth to Marge. I was there: the clown's G-I-L-L-T-Y.
Judge Snyder: Krusty the Clown, how do you plead?
Krusty: I plead guilty, your honor. (realizing) Uh, I mean not guilty. Opening night jitters, your honor.
Reverend Lovejoy: Because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly, so stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.
Bart: Krusty wore big floppy shoes but he's got little feet like all good-hearted people.
Sideshow Bob: And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for these meddling kids.