Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. Well I say there are some things we don’t wanna know. Important things!— Flanders
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. Well I say there are some things we don’t wanna know. Important things!— Flanders
Worker: Hey, isn't that your wife, Homer?
Homer: Don't be ridiculous, my wife worships the ground I walk on.
Dr. Marvin Monroe: You've got to tell him you're fed up, and if he doesn't start loving you, you will be leaving.
Marge: Leave Homer?!
Dr. Marvin Monroe: Please! Don't use his real name!
Marge: Leave Pedro?!
Moe: You're a pig. Barney's a pig. Larry's a pig. We're all pigs. Except once in a while we can crawl out of the slop, hose ourselves off, and act like human beings.
Homer: Uh, I'd like some flowers.
Florist: What kind of flowers?
Homer: Uh, you know, pretty ones. Not dead.
Florist: Well, we've have some beautiful long-stemmed roses. They're fifty five dollars a dozen.
Homer: (pause) One please.
Homer: Hello, this is Mr... Samson.
Receptionist: Did your wife just call a second ago?
Homer: No, I said Samson, not Simpson!
Lisa: (on phone) We caught her! We caught the Babysitter Bandit! She's tied up at our house right now!
Bart: Ask if there's a reward.
Lisa: Is there a reward? (pause) If she's convicted, we get T-shirts.
Bart: Yeah!
Ms. Botz: Mr. Samson, can I give you a bit of advice?
Homer: Sure.
Ms. Botz: Don't turn your back on that boy for a second.
Reporter: Are you telling the world that you just aided and abetted the escape of the notorious Babysitter Bandit?
Homer: The what? Well, I wouldn't say I aided her, because actually, it was quite a struggle!
Marge: The way I see it, if you've raised three children who can knock out and hog-tie a perfect stranger, you must be doing something right.
Host: The Cue-ball Killer should be considered extremely armed and dangerous. If you think you have seen him, call 1-800-U-SQUEAL.
