The Springfield Files

Rating: 4.3 (127 votes)

Memorable quotes

Mr. Burns: So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!
Smithers: (shocked) What?
Mr. Burns: You know. Light-hearted, fancy-free. "Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!"
Smithers: Exactly, sir! (nervous laughter)

Moe: Another Duff, Homer?
Homer: Nah, it's Friday night Moe, I wanna try something special.
Moe: Uh...sure, sure. (writes on Duff bottle). Here you go...Düff. From Sweden.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Nimoy: Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer...is 'no'.

Homer: Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Homer: It was an alien, Marge! It appeared in front of me and said "Don't be Afraid."
Marge: Have you been drinking?
Homer: No! Well, ten beers.

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh, Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Homer: You don't have to humiliate me. (walks off)
Man: (walks in) I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it again!
Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!

Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?

Homer: Oh Marge, I never felt so alone. No one believes me... Uh, this is the part where you're suppose to say "I believe you, Homer".
Marge: I don't believe you, Homer.
Homer: You do? Oh, Marge, you've made me so happy!
Marge: You're not listening. You're only hearing what you wanna hear.
Homer: Thanks! I'd love an omelet right about now.

Bart: Hey, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer?
Homer: Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

Scully: Now, we're going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (the lie detector explodes)

Mulder: Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?
Scully: No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight.
Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic.
Scully: Yes. It's like a lava lamp.

Homer: So, I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.

Moe: Oh, who thought a whale could be so heavy?!

Homer: This Friday, we're going back to the woods and we're going to find that alien!
Bart: What if we don't?
Homer: We'll fake it, and sell it to the Fox network.
Bart: They'll buy anything.
Homer: Now, son, they do a lot of quality programming, too... (they both break out in laughter)

Kent Brockman: The alien has appeared in the same Springfield pasture the past two Friday nights. Will it appear again this Friday? The entire Channel 6 news team will be there, except for Bill, the boom mike operator, who's getting fired tomorrow. (boom mic falls and hits him in the head) Very unprofessional, Bill.

Lenny: It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!

Dr. Nick: The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money.

Notes

• The Simpsons have a ''Better Homes Than Yours'' magazine on the coffee table.
• Settings on Moe's Breathalyzer Test: ''Tipsy'', ''Soused'', ''Stinkin'' and ''Boris Yeltsin'' (highest setting).
• At the arcade, when the guy in the Donkey Kong costume throws barrels, the sounds from the original game can be heard.
• The billboard Homer sees says ''DIET'', and nothing else.
• Newspaper headline: ''Human Blimp Sees Flying Saucer''.
• Mulder wears a bikini in his FBI badge photo.
• Sign at the FBI's Springfield branch: ''Invading Your Privacy For 60 Years''.
• The alien line-up: Marvin the Martian, Gort, Chewbacca, Alf and Kang.
• Jimbo's sign reads: ''Alien Dude, Need Two Tickets To Pearl Jam''.
• T-shirts for sale include: ''Homer Is A Dope'' and ''No Fat Alien Chicks''.

References

• Scully has an X-Files mug on her desk, and the ''Cigarette Smoking Man'' from the show can be seen during the lie detector scene. There are many other obvious references to this show as well.
• The Springfield Philharmonic Orchestra plays the music from the shower scene of Psycho.
• Milhouse puts 40 quarters into the Waterworld game and has a couple of seconds of gameplay, mimicking the overbudgeting of the movie.
• Three frogs imitate the Budweiser commercial. An alligator eats them and says ''Coors'', they name of another beer.
• When ''All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy'' is repeatedly typed on the screen, this is a reference to The Shining.
• Devil's Tower from Close Encounters of the Third Kind can be seen in Lisa's ''Junior Skeptic'' magazine. Kent Brockman also makes a reference to this movie, when he calls Homer's video a ''close encounter of the blurred kind''.