Business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn’t for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.— Moe
Business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn’t for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.— Moe
Grampa: Bah! This is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cars.
Jasper: Aw, a Valentine from my granddaughter.
Grampa: Could I have the envelope?
Ralph: I don't have a red crayon.
Ms. Hoover: Why not?
Ralph: I ate it.
Bart: Cool, I broke his brain.
Ralph: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.
Ralph: That Valentine sure was funny.
Lisa: Glad you liked it.
Ralph: It says "Choo-choo-choose me," and there's a picture of a train.
Ralph: So... do you... like... stuff?
Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.
Homer: Let me handle this Marge, I've heard 'em all: I like you as a friend; I think we should see other people; I no speak English...
Lisa: I get the idea.
Homer: ...I'm married to the sea; I don't want to kill you but I will...
Lisa: I'm not sure I should go - I don't even like him.
Bart: You're right, Lis, you shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest. I'll go, disguised as you.
Lisa: What if he wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he wants a kiss?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he--
Bart: You don't wanna know how far I'll go.
Homer: Your conscience? Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do.
Homer's Conscience: Homer, that's a terrible thing to say.
Homer: Oh, shut up!
Homer's Conscience: Yes, sir.
Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops!
Wiggum: They are? Oh no! Have they set a date?
Skinner: Good evening everyone, and welcome to an evening of theare and picking up after yourselves.
Ralph: It says "bee" and there's a picture of a bee on it!
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