Krusty the Clown, you are under arrest for armed robbery. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah.— Wiggum
Krusty the Clown, you are under arrest for armed robbery. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah.— Wiggum
Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here!
Homer: I called the big one Bitey.
Dr. Cobb: You just better have a damn good conducter.
Homer: (outside the monorail train) Ohhhh, I locked my keys in there... get a rock.
Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Bart: I used to think you were stuck in an emasculating, go-nowhere job.
Homer: Heh, kids.
Bart: But now, I want to follow in your footsteps.
Homer: Do you wanna change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you "Ho-Ju".
Bart: (long pause) I'll get back to you.
Marge: What if something goes wrong?
Homer: What if? What if I'm taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap? Oh my god I'd be killed!
Homer: Are we gonna die, son?
Bart: Yeah. But at least we'll take a lot of innocent people with us.
Smithers: Where shall we dump this batch, sir - the playground?
Burns: No, all those bald children are arousing suspicion. To the park!
Lyle Lanley: I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... oh, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea.
Quimby: Now wait just a minute: we're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!
Quimby: All right, I'm in charge here.
Wiggum: Oh run along, Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere.
Quimby: Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.
Wiggum: Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby!
Quimby: You don't scare me, that could be anyone's ass! Now beat it, I'm calling the shots!
Wiggum: I think that sash is cutting off the air to your brain. The town charter says in an emergency, I run the show!
Quimby: Well we'll just see about that - let's go to Town Hall!
Wiggum: FINE! (pause) Shall we take one car, or should I follow you?
Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's not Batman!
Bart: Dad, you're a hero!
Homer: Yeah son, I'm the best mono-thingy guy there ever was.
Marge: And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the Popsicle stick skyscraper... And the fifty-foot magnifying glass... And that escalator to nowhere.
Apu: I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight this year, and as a result, I almost missed work.
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