Business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn’t for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.— Moe
Barney: (hitting the ground with a baseball bat) Take that snake! And you too! Snakes, snakes, everywhere!
Lenny: Getting ready for Whacking Day?
Barney: What's Whacking Day?
Skinner: What do you think of the banners?
Chalmers: Nothing but transparent toadying.
Skinner: They were the children's idea. I tried to stop them.
Chalmers: It's always the children's fault, isn't it, Seymour.
Skinner: Yes. Yes it is, sir.
Nelson: Imagine a school out there with no bullies.
Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up... Kids using their lunch money for food...
Teacher: (chasing Bart) Avert your eyes, children: he may take on other forms!
Homer: Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved. (He imagines his evil side dancing on Good Homer's grave)
Evil Homer: I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!
Lovejoy: (apparently reading from the Bible) And the Lord said, "Whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies, and thy town shall be a beacon unto others." So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Whacking Day.
Lisa: Let me see that.
Lovejoy: (pause) No.
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