There’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.— Bart
Marge: Homer, you do remember your promise to the children?
Homer: Sure do - when you're eighteen you're out the door!
Homer: If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Lisa: I've never gotten a B before. How could this have happened? I feel so dirty. (starts scratching) The dirt's not coming off!
Bart: Oh Dad, you're the best father a boy could ever have!
Homer: Thanks, son. Now you've got little hands: could you reach under that mower and pull out that skate? (Bart reaches under but the mower springs back to life) Pfft, never mind.
Mr. Prince: We'll see you when you get back from image enhancement camp.
Martin: Spare me your euphemisms: it's fat camp for daddy's chubby little secret!
Mr. Prince: You promised you wouldn't make a scene.
Bart: All right, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before: I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty-brand vitamins; my Krusty calculator didn't have a seven or an eight; and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far!
Yoga instructor: Just let your head flop back and forth. Your neck is a well-cooked piece of asparagus.
Bart: I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. Can I say crappy on TV?
Brockman: Yes, on this network you can.
Bart: This camp was a nightmare: they fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: Oh my God!!
Bart: Well actually the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh my God!!
No parodies have been added for this episode yet.