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Burns' Heir

Burns' Heir

Rating: 3.9 (159 votes)


After nearly drowning in the bath tub, Mr. Burns decides to find an heir, and holds auditions at his mansion. Homer gives Bart cards to read, but reading them, he sounds like a moron. Humiliated, Bart vandalizes Burns' mansion. Burns sees this and like Bart's malevolence, so picks him after all. Bart spends time with Mr. Burns, where he is given the life of luxury. Back at home, he acts rambunctious and Homer tries to punish him. Bart goes back to live with Mr. Burns because Burns nurtures his destructive side. After a while, Bart misses his family and wants to go home, but Burns convinces Bart that his family don't want him back. At the power plant the next day, Burns asks Bart to fire Homer. Bart instead fires Burns and drops him through the trap door.

Memorable quotes

Mr. Burns: Careful, Smithers! That sponge has corners, you know.

Mr. Burns: I specifically said no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool...

Lisa: I propose to you that your heir not need be a boy. In this phallocentric society of ours--
Mr. Burns: I don't know what phallocentric means, but no girls!
Milhouse: (dressed as a girl) So much for Plan B!

Bart: Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Ooh, he card reads good.

Bart: So please pick me, Mr. Burns.
Homer: It's Kurns, stupid!
Marge: No it isn't!
Homer: Disregard.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Mr. Burns: Now that you've agreed to reap the windfall of my death, I must return to my large, empty mansion to rattle around and await the inevitable... alone.
Marge: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Homer: Yeah. Let's push him down the steps.

Homer: That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing, but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog!

Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

Lionel Hutz: I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.


  • Stores at the Springfield Mall include ''Gum For Less,'' ''Shoes For Tots'' and ''The Creamatorium''.
  • Sign at the Happy Earwig hotel: ''Our Crawlspace Now Body-Free''.
  • Comformco Brain Deprogrammers is a subsidiary of Mrs. Field's Cookies.
  • Krusty reads a teleprompter in a 1982 episode of his show, even though he is supposed to be illiterate.


  • A cockney boy say to Burns, ''Today? Why it's Christmas Day!'' referencing a scene in A Christmas Carol.
  • Burns gets the idea for his hidden cameras from the movie Sliver.
  • Hans Moleman is deprogrammed in Room 101 a la 1984.
  • Moe talking to himself in the mirror parodies Taxi Driver.
  • The scene in the cinema (THX Sound System) is a reference to Star Wars.