I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’, and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you!— Grampa
Homer: (wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (in a cubicle) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Lisa: Dad, you shouldn't wear glasses that weren't prescribed for you.
Homer: Lisa, just because you're ten feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.
Bart: I'm Bart.
Quimby: I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And, er, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.
Barney: Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. Wow, free beer!
Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino and I think you may have a problem.
Marge: I won sixty dollars last night.
Homer: Woohoo! Problem solved!
Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster!
Homer: No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!!
Mr. Burns: Ah, my beloved plant. How I miss her... Bah! To hell with this! Get my razors! Draw a bath! Get these Kleenex boxes off my feet!
Smithers: Certainly, sir. And, uh, the jars of urine?
Mr. Burns: Oh, we'll hang onto those.
Homer: You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed... she's such a little trooper!
Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
Homer: No, no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it any more.