Look Marge, you don’t know what it’s like - I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! ’Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do!! Forget it Marge, it’s Chinatown!!!— Homer
Homer: Mmm... invisible cola.
Homer: Hello? Can I get some help? Snack-related mishap!
Fireman: Homer, this... this is never easy to say. I'm going to have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Marge: I'm disappointed in you. But it turns out I had a wonderful time with Ruth Powers. In fact, we're going out again tomorrow night.
Homer: Marge, that's twice, I think you're spending entirely too much time with this woman!
Homer: Moe, get the darts, I wanna play.
Moe: No. We're phasing out the games: people drink less when they're having fun.
Wiggum: Ah, just get one of those inflatable women. But make sure it's a woman, though, because one time I... uh, heh...
Wiggum: Mmm, engine-black eggs. If we can keep these down, we'll be sitting pretty.
Homer: (sees Marge and Ruth drive by) That's them!
Wiggum: Quiet! I can't hear the eggs.
Wiggum: Uh, I'm on a road. Uh, looks to be asphalt... Oh, geez, trees, shrubs... er, I'm directly under the earth's sun...now!
Lisa: I always knew someday Mom would violently rise up and cast off the shackles of our male oppressors.
Bart: Eh, shut your yap.
Homer: Look Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband. I'm sorry about the time I tried to make gravy in the bathtub. I'm sorry I used your wedding dress to wax the car. And I'm sorry -- oh well, let's just say I'm sorry for the whole marriage up to this point.