UK censorship guide: Season 4

ACT 1
Intro sequence

Again, lightning flashes are slowed down so they do not cause any seizures among viewers.

ACT 2
King Homer

Throughout the entire segment, the photography flashes are slowed down.

ACT 1
After Homer crashes his car into Marge's

Insurance Agent: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's'' you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar... But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Heh heh heh. I would'a never thought of that.
(The next day, Homer hitchhikes to Crazy Vlaclav's Place of Automobiles.)

This episode originally aired intact on Channel Four. However during an early-afternoon showing on Christmas Day it was cut, and has not been restored, even in the 6pm slot.

ACT 1
During the opening McBain movie

(McBain guns down all of Mendoza's guards. Then he blasts an innocent violinist, followed by a party guest who is about to eat a piece of cake. As the guy with the cake dies, another man tries to eat it, but McBain kills him too. Eventually he runs out of bullets.)

ACT 1
During the "Springfield Squares" show

Rainier Wolfcastle: It's not a comedy.
Kent Brockman: Oh.
(Coast Guard boat passes)
Coast Guard: Attention! This is the coast guard. A fifty-foot tidal wave is heading this way. All game shows off the beach.
(Everyone starts screaming as they notice the tidal wave.)
Barry White: Everyone, come up to my square. It's safe and it's sexy.
(Everyone gets into Barry's square, except...)
Rainier Wolfcastle: Hurry up, Charlie, there's not much time.
Charlie: I ain't going nowhere. I have been in this square pert near 30 seasons and I ain't a-leavin' now.
(He is hit by the tidal wave)
(Cut to living room where Homer and Bart are watching.)
Homer: He's dead now.
(Homer and Bart laugh.)

ACT 3
Krusty takes the kids to Tijuana, Mexico

("South of the Border" plays over a photo montage. 1st photo: Krusty buys everyone a sombrero that's way too large. 2nd photo: The kids (sans Lisa) watch a cock fight. 3rd photo: Bart and Lisa find Krusty on the ground after he's drunk a bottle of Tequila.)

Instead of letting the song get messed up by the removal of a few seconds, the first frame is held over for twice as long.

Archived cut: BBC no longer airs the show

ACT 1
Marge is with Mrs. K at Parent/Teacher night

(Krabappel pulls a Krusty the Klown doll out of her desk draw and shows it to Marge. She pulls the head off to reveal a machete-blade.)
Marge: (murmur)
Krabappel: Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities...

Archived cut: BBC no longer airs the show

ACT 2
During the movie trailer

(Scratchy waits on the conveyor belt for the rotating blade. Itchy gets impatient, grabs an axe and chops him into little pieces with it.)

Archived cut: Now restored

ACT 2
Bart convinces Homer not to punish him

(Bart turns on the TV. Bumble-Bee Man is on.)
Homer: Hee hee hee. Run along, you little scamp.
(A billboard advertising the Movie spurts blood over a newlywed couple driving past in a convertible. At first they are shocked, but upon seeing it is Itchy & Scratchy, they laugh and take it in good humour.)

Archived cut: Now restored

ACT 2
The first Itchy & Scratchy episode, "Steamboat Itchy"

(Itchy blasts Scratchy's kneecaps with a machine gun. Itchy then opens a nearby furnace grate, and Scratchy, trailing blood, crawls into it. He then kicks Scratchy in the rear, slams the grate shut behind him and laughs as the cat's body writhes in agony. Itchy then opens the grate and pulls out Scratchy's head, which has burnt to a crisp.)
Itchy: Oh me, Oh my!

Archived cut: Now restored

ACT 2
The World War II short

(Itchy and Scratchy start bashing Hitler with their implements. Itchy decapitates Hitler with an axe, then shakes hands with Scratchy. Itchy then turns traitor and decapitates Scratchy too. The music changes from "Stars & Stripes together" to "Happy days are here again" and a cartoon Roosevelt dances on and kicks the carcasses of Hitler and Scratchy. Itchy then holds up a 'Save scrap Iron' sign.)

Archived cut: Now restored

ACT 3
Homer consoles Bart

Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son.
Bart: Not bloody likely!

Archived cut: BBC no longer airs the show

ACT 3
When the Itchy & Scratchy craze is over

(Another shot of the blood-spurting I&S billboard, which now advertises "Springfield Barber College".)

Archived cut: Now restored

ACT 1
The first scene

Troy McClure: Live, from Hawaii's beautiful Malaki Island, we're not just for Lepers any more, it's "Carnival of the Stars"!

Archived cut: BBC no longer airs the show

ACT 1
The blackboard gag in the opening credits

"Teacher is not a leper" was replaced by "I will not teach others to fly" by the leper-friendly BBC.

Archived cut: BBC no longer airs the show

ACT 1
As Homer flees the plant to go to the Duff Brewery

Homer: (reading) "To over come the spider's curse, simply quote a bible verse." Thou Shalt Not ... Oh...
(Homer grabs a rock and throws it at the spider. Homer then leaps out a window. Cut to outside, where Barney is waiting in a car, with a mattress on top.)
Barney: Hey, is that Princess Di?
(Barney drives forward, as Homer falls and hits off the ground.)
Barney: No, it's just a bunch of rags.

This was removed after the Princess' death, along with a few other jokes about car crashes. Unfortunately, unlike the others this was never reinstated.

Archived cut: BBC no longer airs the show