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Separate Vocations

Separate Vocations

Rating: 3.8 (167 votes)


Springfield Elementary takes an career aptitude test. The test says that Bart will be a policemen and Lisa would be a homemaker like Marge. Dismayed, Lisa turns into a naughty kid, hanging out in the bad girls bathroom. Meanwhile, Bart goes for a ride in a police car, and helps apprehend a thief. Enjoying his new taste of authority, Bart takes sides with Principal Skinner and helps him restore order around the school. After getting detention, Lisa steals all the Teacher's Edition textbooks to see how the teachers would do without them. Bart and Skinner search the school lockers for the lost text books. They find them in Lisa's locker, but Bart takes the blame, realizing that Lisa has more to live for. Bart is sentenced to 600 days of detention.

Memorable quotes

Janey: Well, that was a waste of time.
Lisa: Janey, school is never a waste of time.
Miss Hoover: Since we have fifteen minute until recess, please put down you’re pencils and stare at the front of the room.

Bart: Hey, I don't need you to get me in the back of a police car.

Marge: You know, your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while, but they said he was too heavy.
Homer: No, the Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb.

Lisa: Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs, and I may or may not die young. I haven't decided.

Bart: So, you guys like being cops?
Lou: Oh, it's great. You get to run red lights, park wherever you please, hot and cold running chicks...

Apu: Ooh, they used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth against my skin. Almost sensuous!

Marge: Bart's grades are up a little this term. But Lisa's are way down.
Homer: Oh... We always have one good kid and one lousy kid. Why can't both our kids be good?
Marge: We have three kids, Homer.
Homer: Marge, the dog doesn't count as a kid!

Bart: Seymour, this is an absence slip signed by Nelson's mother. And this is Nelson's English homework. Notice the identical elongated loops on the d's.
Skinner: Forgery! So he didn't have leprosy...

Lisa: Bart, why did you take the blame?
Bart: Because I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money.


  • There is a snake under the floor boards.
  • The bad girls smoke Laramie Jr. cigarettes
  • A name on one of the tests which passes through the machine is James Reardon, a director on The Simpsons.
  • Bart & Skinner search the same sequence of lockers more than once.


  • The car chase scene is a parody of Bullitt.
  • Lisa's ''whadda ya got?'' response to Skinner's question parodies The Wild One.
  • When Bart imagines himself in court, a blue dot conceals his identity, referencing a real-life court proceeding which was televised shortly before the episode was written.
  • The scene change when Skinner & Bart decide to do a random locker search is taken from the Batman TV show.
  • The music during the locker search is Axel F.