Look Marge, you don’t know what it’s like - I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! ’Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do!! Forget it Marge, it’s Chinatown!!!— Homer
Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
Homer: (sarcastically) No, I do not know what Schadenfreude is. Please tell me, because I'm dying to know!
Lisa: It's a German term for 'shameful joy', taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt!
Marge: Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.
Ned: See anything you like?
Homer: Oh, I get it! It's not good enough for you, but it's good enough for me! Well, I wouldn't be caught dead buying this... (sees something) hello!
Homer: Hey, Bartlee-boobly, care for a steak-a-rooney?
Bart: Sounds crumptly-uptious, dear old duddly-doodly!
Homer: See Marge, you knock TV and then it helps you out. I think you owe someone an apology.
Akira: We learn karate, so that we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchucks?
Bart: Yo, sensei. Can I go to the bathroom?
Akira: You can if you believe you can.
Man: Hey, I hear you validate parking tickets without purchase.
Ned: Oh, right as rain! Or, as we say around here, `left as rain', heh heh.
Man: Just stamp the ticket.
Ned: At times like these, I used to turn to the Bible and find solace, but even the Good Book can't help me now.
Homer: Why not?
Ned: I sold it to you for seven cents.
Homer: It's all here, and it's all backwards!
