Look Marge, you don’t know what it’s like - I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! ’Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do!! Forget it Marge, it’s Chinatown!!!— Homer
Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
Homer: Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough.
Hobo: I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse massage parlors and those Disney sleaze balls shut me down. I said "Look, I'll change the logo, put Mickey's pants back on." Some guys you just can't reason with.
Homer: Why did this have to happen now during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
Homer: Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service... but those were all dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.
Herb: Lady, you just gave me the idea of a lifetime! How do I thank you?
Woman: Please don't hurt me.
Herb: Consider it done.
Homer: Please please please please please!
Lisa: Dad, you know you won!
Homer: Don't jinx it!
Homer: (upon seeing the drinking bird) That's the greatest invention in the world! You'll make a million dollars!
Homer: All right, Herb. I'll give you the money, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.
Herb: Nope.
Homer: All right, then just give me the drinking bird.
