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Making the Headlines

Founded in 1883 by Johnny Newspaperseed, The Springfield Shopper is Springfield's number one newspaper - in fact, after merging with The Springfield Times, Springfield Post, Springfield Globe, Springfield Herald, Springfield Jewish News and Hot Sex Weekly, it is now the only major newspaper in Springfield. At one time it was free, but the price has risen over a period of time and is currently sold at 50¢.

Every headline from the Springfield Shopper and other newspapers/magazines (named where applicable) is listed below, complete with screenshots, and any subheadings or further headlines.

Season 1

Homer's Odyssey
SIMPSON SAYS SAFE!
screenshot
DOZENS CHEER HOMER SIMPSON
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HOMER SIMPSON STRIKES AGAIN!
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WATCH OUT, HERE COMES HOMER
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ENOUGH ALREADY, HOMER SIMPSON!
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Call of The Simpsons
(National Informer)
BIGFOOT STILL AT LARGE
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(National Informer)
I MARRIED BIGFOOT
Shocking Interview Inside!
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(National Informer)
BIGFOOT'S WIFE PLEADS: "CALL HIM HOMER!"
Details Inside
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(National Informer)
THE BIGFOOT DIET: "PORK CHOPS APLENTY"
Tasty Recipes Inside
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The Crepes of Wrath
(Newsweeque)
VIVE LE BART!
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Krusty Gets Busted
(Timely)
KROOK OF THE YEAR
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(Newsweekly)
RHYMES WITH DASTARD
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(Today's Guns)
357 MAGNUM The Clown Stopper
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Season 2

Simpson and Delilah
(The Springfield Power Plant Employee Newsletter)
WORK ACCIDENTS REACH RECORD LOW
Output Up 15 Percent
Management Caves In To Condiment Outcry
screenshot
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
MUTATION CAUGHT AT OL' FISHIN' HOLE
Is Power Plant Responsible?
Boy Was Using Five Pound Test and Ordinary Worms
Sister Was Just There For Tranquility
screenshot
(In Bart's scrapbook, as he pastes a cutting of the previous headline into it.)
VANDAL DECAPITATES TOWN STATUE
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FISHIN' HOLE OR FISSION HOLE?
Burns Denies Responsibilities In Fish Flap
Count The Eyes, Mr. Burns!
screenshot
GOVERNOR CALLS FOR POWER PLANT INSPECTION
screenshot
BURNS ENTERS GUBERNATORIAL RACE
3 Eyed Fish In Every Pot?
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BURNS SKYROCKETS TO SEVEN PERCENT IN LATEST POLLS
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BURNS BANDWAGON ROLLS ON
Latest Poll Puts Him At 22 Percent
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BURNS NUKES BAILEY IN LATEST POLL
Forty-Two Percent And Climbing
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Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
ART TREASURE TO VISIT SPRINGFIELD
Michelangelo's David In 1958
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Bart Gets Hit By A Car
(Imagined by Mr. Burns)
BURNS FIRES UNGRATEFUL EMPLOYEE
screenshot
(Imagined by Mr. Burns)
ANOTHER SMART MOVE BY BURNS
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(Imagined by Mr. Burns)
HOORAY FOR BURNS!
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Lisa's Substitute
(Daily Fourth Gradian)
BART TO MARTIN: "EAT MY SHORTS"
Simpson Wins Debate!
screenshot
(Daily Fourth Gradian)
EXTRA!!! PRINCE BEATS SIMPSON
(In the photo, Martin holds copy of the paper with the headline: SIMPSON DEFEATS PRINCE)
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Season 3

Stark Raving Dad
MICHAEL JACKSON HOAX
Everyone Mad At Local Boy
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Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington
NEVER TOO BUSY...
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(Washington Beacon)
EXTRA! CONGRESS CLEANS HOUSE
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When Flanders Failed
PRESIDENT DECLARES WORLD PEACE
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PRESIDENT SIMPSON DECLARES WORLD PEACE
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PRESIDENT SIMPSON WINS SUPER BOWL
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Bart the Murderer
PRINCIPAL STILL MISSING
Police Search For Body
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PSYCHIC JOINS SKINNER HUNT
screenshot
PRINCIPAL MURDER TRIAL BEGINS TODAY
screenshot
SENTENCING TODAY FOR DINKY DON
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Homer Defined
(US of A Today)
AMERICA'S FAVORITE PENCIL
#2 Is #1
screenshot
Treehouse of Horror II
WORLD PEACE DECLARED
screenshot
MONSTERS OKAY SLAVERY PLAN
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Flaming Moe's
WIZARD OF WALNUT STREET
Moe with a Flaming Moe
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(Timely)
ONE MOE FOR THE ROAD
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(Bar and Stool magazine)
THROUGH THE ROOF!
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Radio Bart
SQUIRREL RESEMBLING ABRAHAM LINCOLN FOUND
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Separate Vocations
(Daily Fourth Gradian)
FOODFIGHT FOILED FISHSTICKS SEIZED
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Dog of Death
LOTTERY DRAWING TODAY
President, Rock Star to Swap Wives
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Colonel Homer
(Springfield Variety)
HIX IN STIX LOVE CHIX LIX
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Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
LOCAL MAN, HOMER SIMPSON, RECEIVES AWARD AND $2000 CHECK
(with a picture of him falling off balcony)
screenshot 1
screenshot 2

Season 4

A Streetcar Named Marge
PLAY ENJOYED BY ALL
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Lisa the Beauty Queen
LISA KICKS BUTT
screenshot
QUEEN TO MAYOR: YOU'RE NEXT
Nerds Pummeled in Football Melee
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Treehouse of Horror III
WOMAN WEDS APE
Dick Cavett Born
(Interesting note: as this newspaper spins into view, the second headline "Woody Allen Born" is in place of the "Dick Cavett Born" headline. It changes to the latter on the last spin. Both newspapers feature an adult picture of the person in question, even though they had just been born.)
screenshot 1
screenshot 2
Lisa's First Word
MONDALE TO HART: WHERE'S THE BEEF?
screenshot
Marge vs. the Monorail
BURNS PAYS CITY 3 MIL!
screenshot
I Love Lisa
(from an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon)
YOU NEED A HEART TO LIVE
screenshot
Krusty Gets Kancelled
WHO IS GABBO?
screenshot
FIVE DAYS 'TIL GABBO
screenshot
GABBO HERE TODAY
screenshot
(Springfield Variety)
GABBO FABBO! KRUSTY RUSTY
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QUIMBY RE-ELECTED BY LANDSLIDE
Two More Bodies Surface In Springfield Harbor
screenshot
GABBO STILL #1 IN SPRINGFIELD
Brockman Fired
screenshot
KRUSTY SPECIAL AIRS TODAY
Gabbo To Have "Real Boy" Operation
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Season 5

Rosebud
BURNS' BIRTHDAY TODAY
Credits Long Life To Satan
screenshot
Homer The Vigilante
CAT BURGLAR STRIKES 15 HOMES!
Man Marries Woman In Wedding Ceremony
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BURGLAR STRIKES AGAIN!
Is Nothing Safe?
(the paper is then stolen)
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ZIRCONIA ZTOLEN!!!
Simpson Asleep At Switch
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Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
LOCAL GAYS SHOW THEIR PRIDE
(Bart is at the forefront of the picture)
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Homer Loves Flanders
BIG FAT MAN HAS BIG FAT HEART
Little Thin Man Accused In Robbery
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Bart Gets An Elephant
KBBL CHEATS STRAIGHT-A STUDENT!!!
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The Boy Who Knew Too Much
QUIMBY NEPHEW CHARGED IN BEATING
Chowder Said Wrong
screenshot

Season 6

Sideshow Bob Roberts
BOB PARDON: #1 LOCAL ISSUE
Edges Out "No Fat Chicks" Ordinance
screenshot
CALL FOR PROBE IN BOB FLAP
EDITORIAL: Why Not Let Dead Pets Vote?
screenshot
TODDLERS TOPPLE MAYOR
Expressway Halt Rankles Elderly
screenshot
Bart's Comet
PREZ SEZ: "SCHOOL IS FOR LOSERS"
screenshot
BOY DISCOVERS COMET
screenshot
ROCKET TO KICK COMET'S TAIL
Mayor Visits City
screenshot
Homer Vs. Patty and Selma
(gag paper)
BART NAMED WORLD'S GREATEST SEX MACHINE
screenshot
A Star Is Burns
INCONTINENT OLD MAN WINS MISS TEEN AMERICA
screenshot
The Springfield Connection
(Sponge and Vacuum)
PREVIEW OF THE '96 SPONGES
screenshot
(Danger Liker)
MINEFIELDS - PLAYGROUNDS FOR THE 90s
screenshot
(Glass Eater)
WINE BOTTLES: OUR TEN FAVORITE VINTAGES
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(Other magazines in this episode include: "Bear Baiter," "Mosh Pitter," "Rock Jumper," "Cliff Biker.")
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)
AWFUL SCHOOL IS AWFUL RICH
screenshot
BURNS PLANS SUNSHINE HALT
SPECIAL SECTION: Your Guide To Perpetual Darkness
Town Meeting Friday
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Season 7

Radioactive Man
WHO WILL BE FALLOUT BOY?
Who Will Be Fallout Boy?
screenshot
MILHOUSE DISAPPEARS!
Movie On Hold
screenshot
(Variety)
MILHOUSE MELTDOWN
Ankles Pic - Flick Sick
screenshot
SPINNING NEWSPAPER INJURES PRINTER
(This and the previous two were all spinning papers, one after the other)
screenshot
Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily
AMERICA LOVES TED KENNEDY
screenshot
40 TRAMPLED AT POCO CONCERT
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(The Flanders Press)
PLAYTIME IS FUN
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(The Flanders Press)
EXTRA EXTRA! TODD SMELLS
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(The Flanders Press)
SIMPSON KIDS MISS MOM & DAD
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King Size Homer
(Employee Newsletter)
BURNS SURVIVES BRUSH WITH SHUT-IN
screenshot
Mother Simpson
LOCAL MAN LOSES PANTS, LIFE
Beaver Rescue Falls Short
screenshot
Lisa The Iconoclast
PARADE TO DISTRACT JOYLESS CITIZENRY
screenshot
The Day the Violence Died
BUM SUES CARTOON KING
Got legal fee from some family
screenshot
A Fish Called Selma
TROY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
Look Who's Drunk
(picture of McBain)
screenshot
TROY WEDS
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(Variety)
McCLURE ANKLES OBSCURITY
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22 Short Films About Springfield
HELMS CALLS FOR DONUT TAX
Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead
screenshot 1
screenshot 2
Much Apu About Nothing
QUIMBY'S PROPOSITION 24 ON BALLOT
Quimby Propositions 24 At Ballet
screenshot
POLICE PREPARE FOR DEPORTATIONS
Bear Patrol Steps Up Bombing Campaign
screenshot

Season 8

You Only Move Twice
SUPERVILLAIN SEIZES EAST COAST
screenshot
The Homer They Fall
CHAMP TO WHALE ON LOCAL MAN
screenshot
El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)
KICKIN' BACK
Fifty Ways To Waste Your Weekend
screenshot
The Springfield Files
HUMAN BLIMP SEES FLYING SAUCER
screenshot
The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show
FUNNY DOG TO MAKE LIFE WORTHWHILE
screenshot
(Toon Beat Magazine)
HOMER SIMPSON AND POOCHIE!
The Voice Of Cool
screenshot
Brother From Another Series
MANIAC TO LIVE AT BROTHER'S APARTMENT
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Homer Vs. The Eighteenth Amendment
ALCOHOL PROHIBITED IN SPRINGFIELD
Bums Threaten To Leave Town
screenshot
CITY GOES DRY TODAY
Bums Extend Deadline
screenshot
BANNER BARS BOOZE
Booze Barred By Banner
screenshot
BEER BARON BEATS BANNER
Family Sedan Outruns Cops
screenshot
The Old Man And The Lisa
BURNS TO OPEN RECYCLING PLANT
Makes Other Bums Look Bad
screenshot

Season 9

Treehouse of Horror XIII
NEUTRON BOMB HEADED FOR SPRINGFIELD!
Hippo Promoted To Detective
screenshot
Realty Bites
GRUESOME MURDERS AT SOCIALITE'S HOUSE
Mrs. Astor Safe
screenshot
Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
SIMPSONS SCAM SPRINGFIELD
Angry Mob Mulls Options
screenshot
The Joy Of Sect
SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER PURCHASED BY EVIL NICE CULT
Check Out Our New Cult Lifestyle Section
screenshot
Trash of the Titans
NEW FACE IN TRASH RACE
Local Nut At It Again
screenshot
SIMPSON WINS IN LANDSLIDE
Says "Crazy Promises" The Key
screenshot
The Last Temptation of Krust
DOG KILLS CAT, SELF
screenshot
Natural Born Kissers
LOCAL COUPLE BARES ALL!
Police Dog Clings To Life
screenshot

Season 10

Homer to the Max
IT'S WAR!
screenshot
The Old Man and The "C" Student
TOWN PREPARES FOR OLYMPICS
Pickpockets Call Up Reserves
screenshot

Season 11

Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?
UNUSUALLY LARGE, UGLY BABY BORN
(includes picture of Homer as a baby)
screenshot
(Springfield Shopper Lifeways)
NUTS TO SOUP
by Homer Simpson, Food Critic
Krusty: Worst King Lear In 400 Years
screenshot
COD IS GREAT, SCROD IS GOOD
screenshot
THAR, SHE BLOWS!
screenshot
Little Big Mom
(Toon Times, in a Itchy & Scratchy cartoon)
SCIENTIST CLONES SHEEP
screenshot
Eight Misbehavin'
NAHASAPEEMAPETILAN-TASTIC!
screenshot
Behind the Laughter
(Daily Variety)
YELLOW FEVER
screenshot
(The Hollywood Reporter)
BUMPTIOUS BROOD BOFFO!
screenshot
FEDS TO SIMPS: PAY UP!
screenshot
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
screenshot

Season 12

Lisa The Tree Hugger
KETCHUP TRUCK HITS HAMBURGER STAND
Six Dead
screenshot
LISA ALIVE!
Hemp City Reduced To Stems And Seeds
screenshot
The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
WEB SNOOP EXPOSES POOL HUSTLE
Mr. X Makes Headlines
screenshot 1
screenshot 2
Simpson Safari
FOOD SUPPLY CUT OFF
Even Pies
screenshot
Trilogy of Error
FIRST DAY OF SPRING
Ants, Picnickers Reach Last-Minute Accord
screenshot

Season 13

The Parent Rap
PAIR SINKS JUDGE'S HOUSE
Quilt Ruined
screenshot
Brawl in the Family
SIMPSONS ARRESTED IN FAMILY RIOT
Even Maggie
screenshot
Half Decent Proposal
SLEEP IMPORTANT, SAY EXPERTS
Slow News Day Grips Springfield
screenshot
The Old Man and the Key
OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD
screenshot
I Am Furious (Yellow)
("Newspaper", in one of Bart's Internet cartoons)
YOU SUCK ANGRY DAD
screenshot
Weekend At Burnsie's
MEDICAL MARIJUANA OUTLAWED
screenshot
The Frying Game
HO. J. SIMPSON TRIAL STARTS TODAY
screenshot
Papa's Got a Brand New Badge
HEAT WAVE CONTINUES
(the ink on the page then melts away)
screenshot

Season 14

Large Marge
CRAZED MOM GOES TOPLESS
Photos pages 3-28
TV Clown Saves Day
(Initially it looks as though "TV Clown Saves Day" is the headline, but the camera pans out to show it is less significant.)
screenshot
Special Edna
TEACHER NOMINATED FOR AWARD
Will She Leave Old Life Behind?
Closed Pistachio Stymies Fatso
screenshot 1
screenshot 2
The Dad Who Knew Too Little
DRUNK COP FIRED FROM FORCE
Private Eye Wins Bake-Off
screenshot 1
screenshot 2
A Star is Born Again
LONELY MEN DIE EARLY
screenshot
(The National Whoops)
SARA LIVES IN SIN, MESS
screenshot
Three Gays of the Condo
BUMBLEBEE MAN CAUGHT IN STING
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Dude, Where's My Ranch?
(Billboard for kidz)
FLAN SLAM IS #1 JAM
screenshot
Old Yeller-Belly
ALE OF THE PUP
screenshot
The Bart of War
CAVALRY KIDS LEAD CHARGE IN CLEANUP
President Shoots Wife
screenshot
Moe Baby Blues
BABY SAVED BY LOCAL HERO, NOT FATHER
screenshot

Season 15

My Mother the Carjacker
MAYOR UNVEILS ERECTION TO CHEERING CROWD
screenshot
The President Wore Pearls
(Daily Fourth Gradian)
SCHOOL ELECTIONS TODAY
Are You A Bart Of A Milhouse? Take Our Quiz
screenshot
The Regina Monologues
(The Times)
YANK BANGS QUEEN, OLD BEAN
screenshot
(The Mirror)
SIMPO TO UK: "I'LL KILL YOU ALL"
screenshot
(The Sun)
YANKEE DOODLE RANDY
Topless Homer on Page 3
screenshot
(The Sun)
JUDGE GOES MEDIEVAL ON SIMPSON'S ASS
screenshot
(The Mirror)
WACKO JACKO TO BLIMPO SIMPO: SELL ME YOUR BONES
screenshot
(The Daily Mail)
BART AND PRINCE HARRY - OUT OF CONTROL?
screenshot
Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays
"FAMILIES COME FIRST" ON BALLOT
Second Headline Less Important, Studies Show
screenshot
"FAMILIES COME FIRST" WRONG FOR SPRINGFIELD
screenshot
COSTS TOO MUCH, DOES TOO LITTLE
screenshot
Simple Simpson
OBESE NERD EATS HUMBLE PIE
"Pie Man" Back For Seconds
screenshot
Bart-Mangled Banner
(Daily Fourth Gradian)
IN-DE NO-PANTS DAY!
screenshot
U-ASS-A!
screenshot
Fraudcast News
(The Red Dress Press)
ELEGY FOR GEEZER ROCK
screenshot
BELOVED HERO CHEATS DEATH
screenshot
(Burns Weekly)
"IT'S TOO LATE"
screenshot
(The Red Dress Press)
LISA TO BURNS: 'DROP DEAD'
Ralph Wiggum's Oscar Picks
screenshot
(Chicago Tribune)
RALPHINGS
I Can Go On The Bus
screenshot
Bart's cartoon:
Free Speech
(The Red Dress Press)
NYAH, NYAH WE'RE BACK
Lisa Rules, Burns Drools
screenshot
LISA'S A TOTAL WACKO, IMPLIES FATHER
screenshot
LISA LOVES MILHOUSE
screenshot
(The Red Dress Press)
FINAL 'I GIVE UP' EDITION
screenshot
(The Homer Times)
MY DAUGHTER, THE HERO
screenshot
(The Lenny Saver)
THE TRUTH ABOUT CARL:
He's Great!
screenshot
(Twin Spin)
ARE YOU A PATTY OR A SELMA?
screenshot
(Other newspapers created by townspeople were "The Barney Bugle" and "The Willy World News")

Season 16

All's Fair in Oven War
FATHER OF EIGHT MISSING
screenshot
(The New Delhi Daily)
STEVE BARNES OPENS CONVENIENCE STORE
screenshot
Pranksta Rap
WIGGUM SLEEPS THROUGH RIOT
screenshot
TOP COP SURRENDERS TO BACKFIRING CAR
screenshot
FIREMEN RESCUE POLICE CHIEF FROM TREE
screenshot
COMMISSION: WIGGUM SUCKS
screenshot
HAIL DROUGHT CONTINUES
Tin Roofs Undented
screenshot
WIGGUM RESCUES BOY
NO, REALLY
screenshot